How to Overcome Complexes


The complexes are due to distorted perceptions of oneself that arise when buying with other people or models imposed by society and that end up producing irrational thoughts that lead to insecurity, lack of confidence in one’s abilities and loss of self-esteem, affecting and conditioning The relationship with others, professional activity and, ultimately, life.

The family and the school can be the main inducers of the complexes that appear during childhood since the children do not feel sufficiently loved, valued and supported. Sometimes it is a physical characteristic that makes them different from their peers and friends that leads to the birth of a complex read more about complexes on Its Psychology. The problem is that if you do not remedy the complexes that arise in childhood can be accentuated after puberty. But it is also society itself that can generate complexes in people already adults who feel that they do not belong, for example, to the models of beauty that are imposed from the media.

In any case, there are many people who have not been able to overcome the complexes of childhood because they have not been able to analyze the origin of their anxiety and anguish before a specific event. Most of the complexes are physical, but there are others that have a fundamental psychological condition, as is the case of the inferiority complex or its opposite, that of superiority. There are also others that have their own name and that define specific attitudes:

  • The Oedipus, in which a man compares all women to their mother.
  • That of Electra, by which the woman does not find the right man by comparing everyone to her father.
  • The one of Peter Pan, that is characterized because the person refuses to mature and avoids to face responsibilities.
  • The Snow White, which is one in which you want to be the center of attention and have the approval of others to everything he does.

How to overcome complexes

In most cases, the complexes can be overcome without help or therapy. It may be enough to recognize them, accept them and wish to overcome them and then follow a series of guidelines:

  • It is fundamental to learn to value yourself for what you are and not for what others say.
  • Do not try to seek the approval of others for what you do. You have to act according to your own convictions and criteria without taking into account what others would like.
  • Learn to love and accept with the defects and virtues. They are all like that.
  • You have to recognize your own limitations naturally.
  • Find all the positive things that are in us and reinforce them. This is what you have to teach others, instead of showing and speaking about our shortcomings.
  • Self-esteem is reinforced with positive thoughts and attitudes. Everything always has a positive side. We must avoid negativizing things according to our shortcomings.
  • Do not base your attitude towards others and social activity on external appearance, trying to use it to please others. Close treatment eliminates the disguises.

Accepting complexes and learning to live with them is the best way to overcome them.


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Is fear of spiders a phobia or a normal fear? Is being afraid to take the subway or bus a phobia? Does the child who refuses to go to school suffer from a phobia? How to distinguish phobias from a normal fear? Many questions, many different fears, hence the importance of trying to clarify some of these different fears that can sometimes significantly affect the quality of everyday life.

The term phobia refers to an excessive fear of a situation, a specific object or a particular circumstance. Fear and phobia are somehow differentiated by the intensity of the reaction (I am afraid of cats but I can stay in the room where there is a cat versus flee the room and avoid all places where I would risk meet a cat!).

People who suffer from phobia recognize their fears read about more phobias here, but can not explain their origin, which is unreasonable. Their fears totally control them, unlike the majority of people who, although they have fears, such as fearing a job interview or sleeping alone at home, find strategies “to get through”. It is therefore the severity of this person’s inability to adapt to their environment that makes it possible to differentiate phobias from “normal fears”.


So there are many kinds of phobias. Agoraphobia, social phobia and specific phobias are the terms used to classify them.

agoraphobia is the fear of being in situations where it may be difficult to escape quickly or to get help, that of being alone outside the home, for example, in a crowd. The phobia by far the most disabling, agoraphobia restricts the movement of the person affected or requires for it an accompaniment outside his home. Many health professionals believe that agoraphobia is almost always accompanied by panic attacks. Different teams of researchers are trying to answer this question.

Social phobia is a significant, persistent fear of various social situations or situations where people have to perform. The person is concerned about their social interactions and is afraid of being in embarrassing situations where they could be judged, watched, humiliated. A patient suffers from a generalized social phobia when he avoids several social situations. The most common social phobias are speaking in front of a group, having a conversation, especially with an unknown person, or speaking with someone in authority. Other people with social phobia find it difficult to talk on the phone, eat or drink in front of people who watch them or to participate in activities where there may be an audience, such as sports activities or concerts. It is sometimes difficult to distinguish between generalized social phobia and avoidant personality, the latter often manifesting itself from childhood.

A specific phobia  consists of a significant and persistent fear of a specific object or situation such as heights, animals, microbes, flights, elevators, injections or blood. The person suffering from specific phobia adopts avoidance behaviors, but she will accept to live, although with intense fear, some unavoidable situations. Most specific phobias begin at the end of adolescence or early adult life, except for fear of heights, which would be discernible from childhood.


A phobia is an irrational fear that leads to conscious avoidance of the situation, object or activity. In addition, the presence and / or anticipation of being placed in front of the phobic situation causes significant distress. Finally, exposure to the stimulus or phobic situation almost invariably causes an immediate anxiety response that can either trigger panic attacks or predispose to the development of panic attacks. It is however wrong to believe that phobias are always accompanied by panic attacks.

Anyone can, one day or another, develop phobias. Moreover, it is likely that many people suffer from phobias without seeking treatment: they adapt to their phobia by various mechanisms such as avoidance, have a “phobic companion”, or other mechanisms “adaptation”. This is not the case for all people with phobias: indeed, phobias can significantly affect the functioning and quality of daily life. They can lead to significant marital, family and social disorders. For example, a young man with generalized social phobia may have great difficulty finding a job because he is unable to cope with the selection interview, being unable to have a satisfying love life being unable to approach young women. He can be confined to living isolated, without social and emotional life.

It is important to note that children express their anxiety and / or fear very differently from adults. In fact, the child may cry out, cry, become boisterous or refuse to go out and have fun with other children. Careful observation of the child’s behaviors will often enable parents to identify and identify the object or situation of the child’s fear.

In addition, people with specific phobias are at risk of developing other anxiety disorders, depression, substance abuse such as drugs and / or alcohol. Indeed, the use of drugs and alcohol reduces their anxiety and thereby give them the illusion of being able to function better or cope with the phobic situation.

Phobias can even lead to dangerous behavior such as triggering a catastrophic reaction to a spider walking on the front windshield of a car in a person driving his car on a busy highway; endanger the health of people: a person suffering from blood phobia or injections may refuse or fail to pass certain medical examinations that would be necessary to make a diagnosis or treat a disease.

Who is affected?

7% suffered from social phobia. Young women (aged 15 to 24) were more likely than young men to report symptoms that met the criteria for social phobia. This proportion decreased in women with age. Nearly one in 10 Canadians under the age of 65 met the criteria for social phobia in their lifetime. The lifetime prevalence dropped significantly for the age group 65 and over. Women (1.0%) were twice as likely as men (0.4%) to report symptoms that met the criteria for agoraphobia. However, the sample was too small to allow an assessment of age prevalence. Young women (aged 15 to 24) were more likely than young men to report symptoms that met the criteria for social phobia. This proportion decreased in women with age. Nearly one in 10 Canadians under the age of 65 met the criteria for social phobia in their lifetime. The lifetime prevalence dropped significantly for the age group 65 and over. Women (1.0%) were twice as likely as men (0.4%) to report symptoms that met the criteria for agoraphobia. However, the sample was too small to allow an assessment of age prevalence. Young women (aged 15 to 24) were more likely than young men to report symptoms that met the criteria for social phobia. This proportion decreased in women with age. Nearly one in 10 Canadians under the age of 65 met the criteria for social phobia in their lifetime. The lifetime prevalence dropped significantly for the age group 65 and over. Women (1.0%) were twice as likely as men (0.4%) to report symptoms that met the criteria for agoraphobia. However, the sample was too small to allow an assessment of age prevalence. Nearly one in 10 Canadians under the age of 65 met the criteria for social phobia in their lifetime. The lifetime prevalence dropped significantly for the age group 65 and over. Women (1.0%) were twice as likely as men (0.4%) to report symptoms that met the criteria for agoraphobia. However, the sample was too small to allow an assessment of age prevalence. Nearly one in 10 Canadians under the age of 65 met the criteria for social phobia in their lifetime. The lifetime prevalence dropped significantly for the age group 65 and over. Women (1.0%) were twice as likely as men (0.4%) to report symptoms that met the criteria for agoraphobia. However, the sample was too small to allow an assessment of age prevalence.

The causes

According to the Government of Canada’s report “The Human Face of Mental Health and Mental Illness in Canada 2006, anxiety disorders result from the complex interplay of genetic, biological, cognitive, developmental and other factors, such as personal, socio-economic and emotional stress. or professional. Various theories have been advanced to explain the role played by these factors in the onset of disorders. The first theory is experiential. She postulates that fear can arise from a first experience, such as an embarrassing situation, physical or sexual assault, or witnessing a violent act. Subsequent experiences of a similar nature have the effect of reinforcing fear.

According to a second theory, related to cognition or reflection, the individual believes or expects that a given situation will take an embarrassing or dangerous turn. Such a phenomenon may be related to the presence of overprotective parents who continually warn the person against possible problems. A third theory is based on biological foundations. Research indicates that the amygdala, a structure located deep in the brain, is used to signal the presence of a threat and triggers a reaction of fear or anxiety. It also stores emotional memories and can intervene in the appearance of anxiety disorders. The children of adults with anxiety disorders are much more at risk than the general population, indicating the existence of a possible genetic trail.

Prevent and cure

Since people with specific phobias rarely present themselves for treatment, it is difficult to have all the relevant information on the evolution of specific phobias. However, they are considered to be one of the easiest to treat anxiety disorders, responding very well to exposure-based therapy. The use of the medication is rarely necessary. On the other hand, without treatment, specific phobias, whose onset is often in childhood, will tend to continue into adulthood, persist for several years without, however, showing any variation in intensity.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy, individually or in groups, and pharmacological treatment are the two recommended approaches for the treatment of social phobia. According to the latest studies, both approaches would be nearly identical in effectiveness. However, it is recognized that the rate of relapse is lower with psychological treatment. Some patients will be able to receive both approaches simultaneously (combination therapy). According to the latest studies, combined treatment would not be more effective than other types of treatment. These are the antidepressants, which are the first choice pharmacological treatment. The doses used will be the same as those used to treat depression. It is difficult to predict the duration of pharmacological treatment,

Agoraphobia will be treated with the same approaches as those recommended for social phobia. However, the response to treatment is greater for a patient with agoraphobia than for the patient with social phobia.

Since treatment can greatly improve the quality of life of a person suffering from phobia, it is therefore justified to consult if one believes to suffer from any phobia. At first, it is important to consult a family doctor who can make the diagnosis, offer medication if necessary, and refer to more specialized services, its psychology or otherwise, depending on the severity of the phobia.

Know and Understand Phobias

The phobia of blood

From brontophobia (fear of lightning) to hematophobia (fear of blood) and even phobophobia (fear of being afraid), the list of phobias seems unlimited. Knowing them makes it possible to fight them better You can read all these phobias in detail on

Establishing an exhaustive list of different phobias seems impossible. And this for two main reasons. First, some of them appear just for the singular story of an individual. Thus, the phobia of bamboos suffered by this man because his parents, as a child, corrected it severely with its stems … On the other hand, there is a tendency today to easily add the suffix “phobia” to some words to designate objects that are rejected. Thus, one can be technophobic without feeling an irrational fear of computers! A certain confusion prevails in the country of phobias. We therefore propose, here, to focus on some of them, from the most classic to the most recent, through the most wacky.

Remember that each time these fears can appear at first as fears … but among them, some will turn into excessive fears, then irrational and chronic.

Image result for EremophobiaDiscover the selections of timeless pieces in XXL format to sublimate all silhouettes.

➔ The most “old”

● Phobias of natural elements 

Phobia of fire (pyrophobia), lightning (brontophobia), wind … Genetic programming seems here at stake. These terrors are probably of the same order as those felt by the first homins who slept in the caves and had to endure, without protection, weathering. By displacement, one can observe phobias of plants, trees, as it was the case for Freud who, it seems, feared the ferns!

● The phobia of water or aquaphobia

It has a place apart, because it is born of this protective instinct that drives us to move away from the water, we who do not know how to swim instinctively. Gradually, certain reassuring conditions (having feet, carrying a buoy, etc.) allow the anxious person to become familiar with the feared element. There are phobias of water in 2.5 to 5% of children under 10 years.

“According to a recent study,” says Dr. Mirabel-Sarron, “it is partly a matter of learning by observing the behavior of people around you. And aquaphobic children are often the eldest of siblings. “In adulthood, some phobics refuse any bathing or boating. The therapist will have to define whether it is more of a “natural environment” fear or a “space phobia”, ie a terror “in the water” and not “of the water”. It is always the in vivo exposure, graduated and associated with relaxation, which gives the best therapeutic results.

● Animal phobias

They are the most frequent (22% of the population would be affected by excessive fear, 5% by phobia). They too are probably part of our genes, because they concern practically the entire animal panel (reptiles to insects) and, by extension, can turn into phobias of hairs or feathers. Hitchcock has made a superb representation in his film The Birds. These fears are sometimes accompanied by a feeling of disgust: thus the phobia of the rats is explained by a rejection of the dirt, while the snakes terrorize because of their viscous aspect. Even if the dreaded animals are not dangerous (see the phobia of the bats, chiroptophobia), the phobia prevents to look at them and to touch them. Fear of cats (garlicophobia) is often combined with an allergy. It is said that Napoleon Bonaparte and Julius Caesar suffered from it. For Dr. Roland Coutanceau, this focus on an animal has a fetishistic dimension: “The animal is then an” exciting repellent “, the person assigning him a psychic over representation. Through him, she touches on the very essence of her anxiety.


● The phobia of blood

Sometimes we find together in the same family all fears related to the disease, say nosophobia (phobia of blood, stings, medical procedures and even white coats!). In this category, the phobia of blood (hematophobia) is specific because it most often causes the person to faint. “We noticed that most of the people suffering from this phobia were women,” notes Dr. Mirabel-Sarron, “and they also very often have mothers with the same problems. There is thus a particular transmission of blood phobia, different from other anxiety disorders, with genetic factors possibly borne by the female chromosomes and involved in the associated cardiovascular reactions. ”

Read about Eremophobia

● The fears of childhood

We have all known them: fear of the dark, big animals, witches in the fairy tales … Clowns or dolls often trigger real terrors among the little ones. “Because of their fixed or very make-up faces,” says Dr. Antoine Pelissolo. The emotions are impossible to decode for the child, which is a great source of anxiety. “These anxious reactions, sometimes very strong, are considered as part of the normal psychological development of the child. They even have an adaptive function to the unknown, to otherness, and we have been able to establish a chronology: at 2 years, the phobias of certain animals appear, at 4/5, those of burns by fire , drowning … However, when some of them persist or take exceptional forms (phobia of the hot water, to die), it is advisable to consult. The same applies to school phobia (see box at the end of the article).

➔ The most modern

● Social phobias

At times very frequent and sometimes very disabling. “In this category, it is the fear of the look and the judgment of the other who wins,” says Dr. Roland Coutanceau. Behind, there is almost always a deep sense of self-esteem. “Fear of the other, perceived as an aggressor, but also exclusion when it comes to a group. Shyness is the most shared form, which can range from having difficulty speaking in public to refusing to meet new people. The anxiety disorder then manifests itself before the test (the jitters), during (inability to communicate, stuttering), but also after, when the phobic is hammered with reproaches because it has never “done well enough”. The Ereuterophobia (fear of blushing in public) is common and rests on a fear of not having control over his blushes, the visibility of his emotions, etc. The fear of ridicule is also present behind many social anxieties. For this type of phobia, group therapy is particularly recommended.

● Agoraphobia

These complex phobias are among the most crippling: people refuse to leave their homes and find themselves in transport or deserted streets. “Moreover, these phobics necessarily consult little, adds Dr. Antoine Pelissolo. They really have a hard time coming to the hospital! “Agoraphobia is the fear of being in a big space or in a public place” if something suddenly happens “. (see page 91). Many situations can then become phobogenic: crossing a long bridge, walking alone in nature … “The fear common to all agoraphobia is the general fear of emptiness, which is associated with a fear of being afraid,” says Dr. Christine Mirabel-Sarron. In its exact opposite, claustrophobia, quite common (5% of the population would suffer), rests on a fear of suffocation, closed places. Gradual immersion, and accompanied, in the dreaded places is recommended.

● The phobia of the plane

The mediatization of large air crashes did not help: 23% of frequent travelers fear the plane, while 9% of French people never take it because of this fear. Aerodromophobia, with the terror of traveling by train or sailing, belongs to the category of transport phobias. Many airlines now offer training courses “antipeur” framed by psychologists, which would help to free themselves from this disorder. The person is installed in a plane at a standstill, then a flight simulator is activated and turbulence is staged … “However, we can have a terror of the plane at different levels, or all together, says Dr. Roland Coutanceau. The terror of being unable to leave the cabin is claustrophobia;

The phobia of blood

➔ Most recent

● The phobia of mouth noises

More and more people are complaining that they can not handle chewing or swallowing their neighbor. But we can not speak of fear. “It’s more of an obsessive anxiety,” says Dr. Antoine Pelissolo. Some people are even afraid of stomach gurgles, theirs but also those of others! One is then in a form of social rejection, as for the phobia of the noises of neighborhood: as I do not control my territory, the other disturbs me.

● The fear of being afraid (phobophobia)!

It belongs more to the performance anxiety that tends to become widespread today. “We have more pressure and fewer benchmarks to accomplish things,” says Dr. Antoine Pelissolo. Therefore, even if the endogenous component does not change, the environment strongly influences our level of anxiety. ”

80% of children suffering from school phobia have been victims of psychological harassment or physical aggression in school.

To remedy the school phobia

About 4 to 5% of school children of all ages have anxiety disorders related to school. And 1% of them would suffer from an extreme form of this syndrome. They are said to be victims of “school phobia”. But the diagnosis remains difficult to make, parents tend to think, despite the vomiting, crying, the refusal to get up in the morning manifested by the child, he “pretended”. As for the professionals, they have to distinguish the academic refusal, which comes from a learning disorder, the absenteeism of convenience of a refusal really linked to too much anxiety. In the latter case, the child says he is willing to attend classes, he may even be good, but he just can not.

A survey conducted by an association of parents showed that 80% of children suffering from school phobia were victims of psychological harassment or physical aggression as part of the school. For the experts, school refusal is also to be considered in relation to the anxieties of separation born in early childhood and which are reactivated through schooling. The best treatments to date remain a TCC type of care or a family psychotherapy. In the first case, the child is encouraged to do other things, such as sending him bread and teaching him how to count the money, which allows him to develop his skills and confidence. In family therapy, the therapist seeks to uncover the rules and family issues hidden behind the child’s school problem.